We shall not have fear

Love.Mostly it is the ultimate reason for happines and for misery.It is the most famous drug in the universe.And we are all dealers.We become love-addicts and we suffer when not taking our dosis.Yet, like all the other drugs, we can never stop.The thing with the addiction is that when you are down, you suffer, you try to stop,but at some point we realise the truth- the only thing that can hurt more than taking the drug, is not taking it.So the only thing that can hurt more than being loved, is not being loved.

I personally found my love in the age when I was too young to either understand or accept it.So my heart was full of pure fear that this beautiful man I loved would leave me, because in my own eyes I had nothing to offer him.So I closed my heart to him.It was indeed my biggest mistake.As time went by I realised he doesn't leave.He stayed along even when I didn't wanted him.He was my gaurdian shadow and never left me to suffer alone.What I am is mostly what he constantly educates in me.Still my heart is not fearless.
After spending the last three days with him I feel disappointed.I am disappointed with myself because I am not brave enough.I can develop, study, work and try hard enough to make my life better, but yet I cannot believe there is a reason for him to love me.I can not say 'I love you'. Now that he is gone, a mind came in my mind.They say that the future belongs only to those who can believe in the beauty of their dreams.
I could achieve all my goals, but at the end of the night my day will be meaningless if he is not there to hold me in his arms.Even when there are hundreds of miles between us, only hearing his voice gives me strenghts.I am sure you all have at least one person like this.It is not family, it is not friens, it is the soulmate.From this day on I am willing to open my heart for him, but there is a long way to go.I probably can't even imagine how long.I need to start learning how to be fearless, how to trust myself enough for him to trust me too.I am terryfied for losing my precious moment with him, but I am amazed when thinking of giving my love only to him.
I know how fear strikes you.You can't touch it or smell it, but it is in every molecule of your body, in your mind, in your soul.I can only hope that during my journey to love, I will help at least one other person  to be fearless.To accept their love addiction.If your beloved one is standing right next to you right now, kiss him.Or call him just to hear his or her voice.Appreciate every day, every hour, every minute.
 Only this moment belongs to us.And we shall not have fear.We shall only have love.